I sit and I journal. The time continues to pass. My last day is slated to be next Friday. Then? I can take the dog and leave town for a few days. I can stay and job hunt and explore the museums I haven't, spend time in Rock Creek, push myself on long runs. I am free to do as I please.
In therapy I talked about this feeling of being wrongfully entitled. To be honest I'm not sure what I mean by that. I feel wrong taking advantage of my social status. I fear I will be judged for not applying myself, landing a decent job, or fulfilling the expectations that I've probably created.
In failing to do anything I am worse off than bucking it all and hitting the mountains for a few days. Or driving up to the Berkshires. Or doing anything other than what I am currently doing: nothing.
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